Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Obviously, today, I have (almost) finished all the stuff I’m about to do. All I’m left with is a sequence guide to revise and a simple script to write, while waiting for some copies to proof read. And so, at this very moment, thankfully, blogging keeps me moving and productive in killing time. At least, I won’t bore myself to death while waiting for the magical sound of the office bell to signal the end of the day.

On the side, on my quest to combatting “dead” times, online stuff lubricate my corporate life. Facebook keeps me awake with all the comments and funny posts and quirky quizzes. Plurk gives me a high on meeting new friends and makes me smile on the emoticons I can add on my “statements.” Twitter cheers me up with some friend messages and riveting replies. It’s the endless surfing and online discoveries at least pampers my decelerating energy on facing the computer for more than 8 hours. Geeesh! Although I have never imagined my professional would be like, I still thankful with all the my job’s advantages. One thing is the sensational “discounted” salary, LOL.

I won’t talk about my salary and all those compensation as this entry is probed by my observation on our staff in the office. On this entry, I will share to share the types of people one can encounter in the workplace. I won’t just delve on the kinds of mortals who bring tons of toxic in our lives, but in general, I will make way for the other “stereotypical witty characters” which everyone could really relate to. I hope you will love it as much as I do while composing this.

Having worked in a Television Network packed with rising and falling celebrities, having experienced the laughter, the harrasment and terror from the office space, and believing that life is like a blockbuster movie in which we are the scriptwiter/director who controls the hero/heroine and villain, I will be using some Filipino iconic celebrities to vividly describe the people in any workplace.

May I present to you the counter part of showbizlandia in the workplace! Enjoy!

JOBERT SUCALDITO. Admit it or not, gossips spice up the workplace. Because of its intriguing nature and spicy sensation, gossip obviously sells like hot pan cakes in the office. Of course, that wouldn’t be possible without the prime “Chef,” the gossiper. At this point, imagine Jobert Sucaldito. 

The Sucaldito's types are perky and very friendly. The people like him not only because he has a towering PR skills, he also has the gift of tongue and ultra-bionic ears and zooming eyes which come very handy on fishing gossips and bashing his enemies. 

He knows every little and juiciest detail in the office. He knows who slept with whom, who’s had a fight, who’s to be fired, who among the hunks in the office are confirmed metrosexual and gay, etc. He has the say on even the unimaginable rumors lurking the office space. His endless gossips are bought by the people around not only to break monotony but to be at paced with the raging, roaring and repressive reality.

CRISTY FERMIN. If there’s a budding gossiper, there’s of course the queen bee gossiper who’s all knowing. At this point, imagine Christy Fermin. 

Because she is on position, she mingles with the lowlifes up to the most elite butterfly of the corporate town. Oddly, because the people know her type, some people also use her to conceal the blatant truth, make her as a bridge to bring messages to the vulnerable, and be an effective portal to drop bombs in the workplace. 

As the queen bee, she remains still. She waits for her ally to come to her and share gossips. And once she speaks her thoughts, like any rule, the words of the King is not meant to be broken. 

Seated at the top of the mountains of gossip, her words confirm even the most hasty stories. On top of that, the people are afraid of her because her talent to twist situations and act innocent especially on fatally award-winning dramatic moments.

BOY ABUNDA. They’re stylish, fab, well-mannered, poised, and intelligent. And on top of that, they’re self-confessed and proud gay people. At this point, Imagine Boy Abunda. 

If you work in the media industry, you will encounter them, loads. In fact, their presence is so positively infectious and truly gripping. They don’t only give you a gazillion of laughters during office hours or breaks, provide you advices on relationships; guide you in finding a perfect; push you to try dating; let you explore sex better and bolder; give you a big hand if you’re down; give you some coffee treats if you’re feeling lost; guide you on travelling tips and tricks, and a lot more; and they also perfectly provide you sensible discussions on a wide-array of topics – from food, fashion, film, makeover, and on life. 

And because most of them are voracious readers and highly creative people, their out-of-the-box thinking and confidence are considered to be the office’s arsenal on special corporate battles especially on brainstorming, client presentations and events management. While most of them are single or in a relationship, Boy Abunda kinds are hardworking and passionate. 

Indeed, their impeccable disposition and outlook in life make them the right candidate of being a model.

RUFFA GUITIERREZ. A workplace will never be complete without having a high-pitched, talkative, sorta- kolehiyala, and narcissistic persona. At this point, imagine Ruffa Gutierrez.

The Ruffa Gutierrez types came from a Beuna Familia and who has at least 3 maids pampering her needs. With her empowering stature in society, she brings her brat and omnipotent aura in the workplace. 

She wears branded clothes, make-up and perfumes. And when she mingles with her officemates, she uses her naturally “pa-cute” voice like it’s as if she’s twisting her tongue. 

On discussions, she doesn’t care if someone will be hit by her “straightforward” remarks. And in all angle of the story, she will always bring up her unreachable status in the society – her expensive family adventures, her imaculate taste on fashion, movies and even in the arts, her collection of posh items which she got from her travels abroad, her list of guys going gaga over her, etc. With these, you would wander why is she working her ass in your company despite ger grand narratives and richness. 

Bottom line, it is just natural for her to believe that in this world, there’s no concept of “we” or “they,” for it will always be “I.”

AI AI DELAS ALAS. Aside from gossip, punchlines and a bevy of slapsticks sweeten the workplace. The clowns are the ones who paint a big smile on our face from any time of the day; someone who flip a sad incident into a laughble occasion; someone who re-enact moments which so much gusto and animation; and someone who just make the office place more likeable and fun. At this point, imagine Ai Ai Delas Alas.

 Although some clown bank on their physically features, some get the credit through their naturally outrageous personality. They’re the ones who attract positivity in life by living simple yet sensational. They are the ones who believe life is short and the only way to fight ageing is through loads of laughs. They are in so many ways damn vocally and naturally funny, wishing you to put them in comedy bars and rake in money!

Then again, just beware engaging in a fight with them. You’ll be surprised, you can be a laughing stock in a circulating slapstick or joke in the office. Truth is, even a cuddly cat can give you a deep scratch when provoked in a wrong way.

SAM MILBY. Welcome to the world of the so called “Metrosexuals!” They wear a hot bod paired with some trendy men’s clothes with a “colgate-like-commercial” smile. They walked in a very poised manner yet still manly and composed. They breathe massive grooming and a healthy lifestyle. At this point, imagine Sam Milby.

Sam Milby types are the the “untouchable” prince charmingsss for a simple office girl. They are the “Adonis” for a hopelessly romantic gay guy. By merely saying hello to someone or be it a sheer glance, everyone could be blown away. Their smooth presence is truly office shaking which also threatens the “brusko” and “dirty looking” traditional “suave” guy. And on office team building or company outings, this guy’s physically or talent revelations is much awaited by everyone. 

Here's more, even if they sing bad and dance terrible on the dance floor, by merely showing their blinding smile on a big crowd makes them become an office star!

To be continued...

P. S. Please take note that the above mentioned celebrities were solely used based on their "portrayed" image on National Television. The author does not wish to bash their real life identities with this blog entry.

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