Wednesday, July 28, 2010

EXPLOSIVE ENCOUNTER: Pulubi

Pulubi
By Earvin Charles B. Cabalquinto

Calling all passengers of ______ bound to Caticlan , please prepare for boarding. Calling all passengers of ______ bound to Caticlan, please prepare for boarding.

Isang babae. Naka-iPad. Tino-touch ang kanyang iPad. Busy. Busying. Busy busyhan.

Magpopost sa Twitter ang babaeng super busy. "is going to Boracay. Beach. Boys. Bitches. Luvin it!"

Sasagot ang kaibigan ng Sosyalera.

@sosyalera See you girl later! Mwah!

Lalapit ang Pulubi. Marungis. Sobrang dungis.

Pulubi: Excuse me? Excuse me miss? Is this seat taken?

Magugulat ang sosyalera. Tatanggalin ang earphones. Itataas ang shades.

Sosyalera: Gaaaaawd! Who are you? You are sooooo marungis! Eeeeeew!



Pulubi: Excuse me? Are you talking to me?

Sosyalera: Duh? Oo noh. Teka nga, why are you ini-english me? I thought jejemons do not know how to speak english?

Pulubi: Are you calling me Jejemon?

Magpapahid ng ilong ang sosyalera.

Sosyalera: Yes. Tingnan mo nga ang sarili mo. You're so freaking dirty and eeeeeew! Guaaaaaaaard!

Pulubi: You better stop screaming. No one will hear you.

Sosyalera: Ha? Anong pinagsasabi mo dyan. Guaaaaaaard!

Pulubi: I asked the guard to have his dinner. He seems to be hungry.

Sosyalera: Lunch? Pinaglunch ang guard? Teka nga, teka nga, paanong pinaglunch? Pulubi ka di ba? You should be asking some tira-tira or you should be making hatak my clothes so you can ask some barya. And you should be sa kalsada. That's your place. Not here. Hello, airport to!

May tutunog na cellphone. Hahanapin ng Sosyalera kung saan nagmumula ang tunog.

Sasagot ang Pulubi. Magugulat ang Sosyalera.

Pulubi: Excuse me. I have to take this. Yes Dad. I'm already at the airport. hahaha. So how's your stay there at Shangri La? Oh I see. I heard mom's gonna go for some spa and I think some shopping at Landmark tonight. Oh yeah. Perhaps you can ask her to go out and dine at some posh resto at, perhaps The Fort. Oh yeah. I know. Okay then. Bye.

Namangha ang Sosyalera. Natameme.

Bumulong ang sosyalera sa sarili. "Oh God! Who is this freaking shit!"

Sosyalera: Teka nga, teka nga! Sino ka bang impostor ka? Sino ka ba talaga?

May tutunog na cellphone. Ilalabas ng Pulubi ang kanyang iPhone. Magbabasa ng messages. Tatawa. Uupo.

Pulubi: I think, you should calm down. Calm down.

Uupo ang pulubi. Ilalabas nito ang kanyang iPad.

Magugulat ang sosyalera.

Sosyalera to self: Nakakaloka to! Sino to?

Ilalabas din ng Pulubi ang MacBook pro nito.

Sosyalera sa sarili: Punyeta! Naka-MacBook pro?

Sosyalera sa Pulubi: Teka lang ha. Sino ka ba? Bakit ba ang dungis mo? Pulubi ka bang talaga?

Di sasagot ang pulubi.

Biglang magsasalita ang Pulubi. Talking over the phone.

Pulubi over the phone: Dude! I'll be there in an hour to two! I'm now at the airport. Hahaha. I know. Bye.

Sosyalera: This is shit. Deep shit!

Kukunin ng Sosyalera ang kanyang Blackberry. Mag-u-update ng twitter status.

Status: OMG! I am sitting beside with some freakin pulubi. How cool is that? LOL!

Kukunin ng Pulubi ang kanyang iPhone. Mag-u-update ng status.

Status: Damn bitch at NAIA. She's a Jejemon.

Tatawa ang Pulubi.

Mag-u-update ng status ang Sosyalera.

Status: The Pulubi is soooo kadire. And he has an iPhone, MacBook? I don't believe this. Baka smuggled. Nakaw!

Lalayo ng unti ang Sosyalera.

Mag-u-update ang Pulubi ng status.

Pulubi: This bitch beside me is hitting on me.

Ngingisi ang pulubi. Mandidire ang Sosyalera. Mag-u-update ng status.

Sosyalera: Gaaaawd! His teeth is sooooo kadire. Nag-to-toothbrush ba siya? Buti na lang I use Clarisonic.

Titingin ang pulubi sa babae. Ibaba ng pulubi ang shades sa ulo nito.

Magugulat ang sosyalera.

Mag-u-update ng status ang sosyalera.

Sosyalera: He has a ray-ban? F*CK! The Pulubi is a freak! I better check my stuff. Baka magnanakaw to!

Kakausapin ng Pulubi ang Sosyalera.

Pulubi: So we're on the same flight.

Sosyalera: Ha? Ikaw? Us?

Pulubi: I'm saying to you that we're on the same flight.

Sosyalera: I don't think so.

Sosyalera Update sa twitter: The freak is talking to me. Where's the god damn guard!

Pulubi: Boracay ka rin, right?

Sosyalera: How did you know that?

Pulubi: The guard went out for his dinner.

Sosyalera: Ha? Anong pinagsasabi mo?

Itataas ng pulubi ang kanyang iPhone. Ipapakita ang Twitter home page.

Pulubi: I follow you.

Sosyalera: Ano? Anong follow?

Pulubi: Twitter.

Mag-pa-panic ang Sosyalera. Tatayo ito. Babagsak ang iPad. Mababasag.

Sosyalera: Gaaaaawd! Sino ka ba??? Will you please spare me. Guaaaaaard!

Dilim

4 comments:

  1. sino syaaaaa? gusto ko na ng part 2!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leeeeez! Nothing in particular naman. Just one of those random fiction writing eklavu! Hahaha!

    Abangan ang mga susunod na entries. Naiipon ang creative juice! hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. A good story that vividly describes the natures of man against to his fellow man... sometimes we look on the very shallow part of that nature. to judge someone only because of his/her only physical attributes...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Reggie for your comment. This is piece is about anonymity and about "follow" culture. =)

      Delete

ShareThis