Monday, November 21, 2011

I AM LOVED

I can't believe that I am turning 30 next year. Okay, I have few months left before I officially bid farewell to my 20's! Interestingly, despite the disbelief, I am happy with the kind of life that I've lived for the past years.

Let me share to you some of my deep thoughts on my life ranging from the serious up to the daring aspect.



A few days ago, I've been contemplating on my life and my future. As you all know, I've been very vocal in my plan of moving or finding a new trabaho somewhere. As I always tell my Dad, I want to (at least) fully utilize my skills especially now that I have a Masters Degree in Development Communication. I may be socially happy, but professionally, I feel something is lacking.

I accept the fact that not all things are given as we wished. That's the truth. And yes, reality bites.

However, to delve on frustration or fight back with a smile on our face is a choice. It even a greater choice to take risk and find life.

At the moment, I've built a comfortable life in Brunei. I'm still enjoying it.

I believe in miracles. I pray a lot. I ask for forgiveness. I hope bigtime. But I pair all of these with the actions. As they say, nasa tao ang gawa, nasa Diyos ang awa. But then, at the end of the day, my life moves on as some wishes are not granted.

I don't fret or get depressed whenever a prayer is not answered. That's because I hold on to the fact that God has something in store for me; something that's unexpected and even bigger. Having said this, I never question God's plan for me. And so I patiently wait.

But sometimes, it's tiring to wait. So how do I cope? I try to be productive in any possible way. And yes, be positive at all times. Of course, be thankful with what I have; to make the most out of it.

My life in Brunei has always been a blessing for me. Despite the holes that need to fill, I am able to survive and be productive. I guess, whatever decision or action we do in life is linked to our life's choices. In my case, I choose to be happy.

I am not that very uber (the overhyped) happy in my present state. I must say, I am very thankful with God's blessing. I may not have that promotion in a job, but at least my salary is enough to help me save and invest on something. Seriously, I have so many things to be thankful. With all the recognition and achievements that I receive for the past weeks, I don't even have the right to say that I want more.

For the past weeks, I've been showered with so many blessings that I feel overwhelmed.

First, I got in to be one of the semi-finalists of Brunei's Who's Got Talent Season 3. The people of Brunei have voted and they put their trust on my singing prowess. Having said this, I promise to give my best in the show.

Second, although I haven't got the results of my IELTS exam, I know God has enlightened my mind in answering the test: speaking, listening, reading, and writing. I am wishing that I will be able to get a good mark so I can submit my PhD application or perhaps another Masters overseas.

Third, despite the accident that I and my dad got into, the accident spared us from harm.

Fourth, I have just recently received a good news that my investment has progressed to a better state.

And lastly, despite my hectic schedule (singing and events), I am able to piece my proposal for my PhD. The only thing that's lacking right now is the Review of Related Literature, which require a lot of reading and synthesis.

What I have said are all blessings. Indeed, God is really good, great even.

On one hand, living a life overseas won't be bearable with the people who always make me feel appreciated and loved. In fact, the people around me are the reason why I get to live each day with so much positivity and inspiration.

Then again, as I was laying on my bed the other night and as my fingers danced on my mobile phone, I realized that I am so happy with the people around me that I (almost) forget to find for that special someone.

I've never been vocal about love and relationships. In fact, I only share my sentiments on love, friendly dates and even adventures with some of my closest friends. Seriously, with my personality, disclosure of information on my deepest personal and love-related narratives is very tight. Bottom line, I share my thoughts, especially on finding love, to those open-minded people.

Just like praying to finish my MA degree or perhaps aiming to get a new job, wishing for that special love is not all about 24/7 of waiting. Yes, it requires action. Admit it. 

So what's my point?

I seriously don't know what to say right now. All I know is, I am happy with all God's blessing to me. And next year, I am turning 30.

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