Wednesday, November 9, 2011

TOP 10 JUST FOR LAUGHS ACCIDENT SCENE STEALER

Things have been crazy for the past weeks. One of major reasons for my pagkabusy is the preparation that I'm doing for my PhD Application; there's self review of IELTS, researching of related literature, communication theory reading, and research proposal making. Of course, the priority is to at least get a 7 Band Score in IELTS for me to qualify in Universities overseas.

I won't talk about my academic eklavu, but I will share to you the bonggang bonggang scene stealer (s) on the night I had an accident. Yes, just for laughs!
  
TOP 10 JUST FOR LAUGHS ACCIDENT SCENE STEALER!
Sa Police Station: Naghihintay ng kasagutan!

What are friends are fours! lol

UNANG EKSENA
I was going inside the parking lot of a popular restaurant in Bandar when the wind blew so strong and pushed the gate. The gate hit my car. It cut out my right side mirror and scratched my car. Plus, a big dent was planted on the right front side of my car.


The police came over and checked my car.

Pulis: Accident noh?
Me: (Sa sarili) Ay hindi. Hindi ito accident. Hindi!!!!!

PANGALAWANG EKSENA
I was talking to one of the police who was in-charge in the parking lot.

Me: So what will happen now? I was not the one who hit the gate. I am the victim here.
Tulala ang police. Hindi ko maunawaan kung naintindihan niya ang english ko. Binago ko ang statement ko.

Me: So how? How? Who answer accident? Who fix car? Management there?
Sumagot na si manong pulis. 

Me: (sa sarili) Kalooooka!

PANGATLONG EKSENA
The police is trying to demonstrate how did the strong wind push the gate uncontrollably.

Pulis: This, this, wind, blow, wind, push, hit your car. Sorry for that.
Me: Okay. Okay. Anyways, can you just help me find the side mirror?
Pulis: Car?
Me: (sa sarili) Hindi. Yung side mirror ng bisikleta. Kasi naaksidente yung bisikleta di ba? Nakabisikleta ako nung pumasok ako rito!

PANGAPAT NA EKSENA
I called my boss and reported about the accident. I was hoping to seek for help.

Me: Sir, this is what happened....like it's not my fault...The gate hit the car... I was driving so slow.
Boss: Noted.

Me: (sa sarili) A man of uber bonggang few words (okay: ONE WORD!).

PANGLIMANG EKSENA
Since I was asked to file a police report for the accident, I was escorted to the nearest police station. Taray di ba! Escorted na parang kriminal lang!

Together with my friends, we waited for the police.

Me: Where's the person who's in charged to write the report?
Pulis: Wait. Still in a meeting.

After 10 minutes.

Me: So how?
Pulis: Wait. Still in a meeting.

After 10 minutes.

Me: (titingin sa pulis)
Pulis: Wait. Still in a meeting.

Me: (Sa sarili) Bilang writer, ako na lang kaya ang magsulat? Pumili sila: creative writing, news or feature? Puede ring pang-telebisyon? MMK? Anong petsa na!!!!

PANG-ANIM NA EKSENA
Finally the police in-charge came.

Police: You speak Melayu?
Me: Nope.
Police: Why?
Me: Because I wasn't able to learn the language. I had few chances of conversing with Malays.
Police: Why? why?
Me: (sa sarili) Yung aksidente ba ang paguusapan o yung hindi ko pagkaalam sa wika nila ang paguusapan? Kaloka!

PANGPITONG EKSENA
The process was laid to us on filing a police report.

Police: speaks in Bahasa.
Me: Sorry. I don't understand.
Police: speaks in Bahasa
Me: Sorry. What?


Thank God, my friend called our Malay friend and translated everything. If not, we might end up talking without really understanding the conversation!

PANGWALONG EKSENA
The fees to pay are revealed.

Police: You have to pay. 500 Brunei dollars. For police report.
Me: 500 dollars????????
Police: Yes. Yes. Foreigner bah?
Me: That costly?
Police: Ah! Yes ah! Some 2,000. Depends. Accident. You hit gate, you charged.
Me: I was the victim here. The gate hit my car.
Police: Still. 500 for fee. Report process. Only 24 hours.
Me: So I have to file the report within 24 hours and pay 500 dollars.
Police: Ah! Yes! 500 dollars deposit only. Can get it after the investigation. For insurance right?
Me:(sa sarili) magdidildil na lang ako ng asin para magsurvive!


PANSIYAM NA EKSENA
Few days after the accident, I had a talk with my officemate who was also in the site of accident.

Me: Hindi ko naman kasalan. Kaloka lang.
Officemate: It was an act of God.
Me: Act of God? (Sa sarili) Lord, bata pa ako. Wag muna! And I'm still a Virgin (Weh?)

PANGSAMPUNG EKSENA
I had the chance to talk again to the management of the parking lot of the popular restaurant in Bandar.

Me: Sir, can we just settle this among ourselves? In the first place, I didn't hit your gate.
Head: Had a talk with my boss. You have to go the right channel. File a case. Then we do investigation and you can claim for insurance. But takes years bah!
Me: Who is your boss? Can I talk to him?
Head: His Majesty.

Me: (Sa sarili) Kaloka! Puede bang tawagin si Amy Perez ng Face to Face para harapin ito?

***
It may sound funny to read the conversation and my reaction. But what's not funny is the incovenience or danger that the future customers can get in going to the establishment especially on rainy and windy days. Seriously, the management of that restaurant should do something with the gate of their parking lot. Imagine, they've been aware of some past incident that the strong wind toppled down their metal establishment tower signage, yet, they didn't even anticipate that a strong wind could push their gate and hit a car. A two inch depth to hold the metal hook of the gate wouldn't really work.

If this won't be addressed properly, I wouldn't be surprised if another helpless customer could be victimized. The management should work on prioritizing safety and security among their customers. Accountability should also be at top priority in ensuring convenience among customers. Sadly, nature becomes the scapegoat for negligence.

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