Thursday, December 22, 2011


It has been months now since I start to contemplate on where do I see myself for the next years of my life, say, two years from now. With this, I've been asking a lot of signs from God. Plus, at night, I never miss to pray and ask for guidance. Finally, God has given me a hint on where I should head after my adventures in Brunei.

I am ready to open a new chapter of my life.

I've been blessed with a lot of things this month. I passed my IELTS. My MA research is accepted in an upcoming conference in the Philippines and my university has selected my paper for publication. On top of that, I won in the 2011 Saranggola Blog Awards. My entry entitled "Kalye Onse" was awarded as the 2011 Best Freestyle Blog Entry. Since I was here in Brunei, my father did the acceptance speech for me. My dad also received a trophy and a cash prize for my winning.

Despite the many blessings that I've received, I know that God knows how I really feel about my life right now. Yes, I am very thankful for all his gifts to me and to my family. Yet, I am wishing for guidance on my decisions in life.

Last night, while I was rehearsing the Christmas songs that we're to sing for the Christmas Eve's mass, the magic word came out of my mouth. It was a slip of the tongue but at the back of my mind, I knew that it was a decision that I had thought well for the longest time. The words: I am leaving Brunei to fulfill my plan of taking up another Masters degree or a PhD in some university overseas.

I came up with my decision because of a sign which I asked God to at least show me. I had a conversation with God, days before Brunei's Who's Got Talent Competition. I asked him that If he will let me win in the competition, well, Brunei is for me. But if he won't, I'll trust him more that somethings is bigger and better for me outside Brunei. God gave me his answer.

I didn't win in the finals of Brunei's Who's Got Talent. Despite such outcome, God blessed my performances. I didn't feel nervous and I performed well (as per unsolicited comments from strangers and friends who watched the show). By this time, I knew God answered my confusion. He wanted me to lead a much brighter future; that is to venture into a scholarly path.

On my way home last night, I got a bit teary eyed. Yes, the major weeper in me surfaced. Seriously, to think of my (almost) four years of stay in Brunei is really a long walk on memory lane. As I told myself last night, in Brunei: I've built a very colourful life; I've shared my talent; I've made a lot of friends and acquaintances; I've established myself, both professionally and socially; and I've finished my online degree as I've juggled work and co-curricular activities. But then last night, I stopped on getting emotional and thinking on things. I still have a year to work in Brunei. But of course, I'll definitely save more and focus on my goals in life.

My plan at the moment is to get a scholarship overseas. I am really pushing for that. That's the main reason why I took the IELTS exam. In my plan, I would like to either take up another MA in New Media and Communication or proceed with a PhD. At this point, I am targeting schools in Singapore, UK, Australia or even Japan. With my school hunt, my goal is to get an education overseas which will equip me to contribute new knowledge in the Philippines. Yes, I want to go back to the Philippines and teach.

Apart from the reason of enrolling in a University overseas, I am very keen to leave the Abode of Peace because I want to find a new adventure in my life. My (almost) 4 years of stay in the Abode of Peace have been a love and hate relationship. I love the food and serenity in this country. However, there's boredom that pulls me down. Thanks to my friends and virtual classmates, I get to cope up with the laid-back life in here.

I don't to end up on being stuck on a comfort zone. Perhaps I can say this because I am single and I have no other responsibilities to handle, aside from managing savings and investment. But as a I always feel at the end of the day, my energy at my age won't definitely be the same when I reach 40 or 50. And so, should I really want to enjoy my youthful years, now is the time to make things happen or experience life beyond my comfort.

I am not complaining with my current situation. I am just saying that I want to experience more out of life. As I was cuddling my pillow last night, before I went to bed, I thought of my personal bucket list before I hit 30. Yes, I am turning 30 years old next year.

I can't say that I'm very excited to turn 30. I'm not even afraid to hit that age. To me, well, age is just a number. As I see it, I'm still on my 25ish!

I want to spend my Christmas next year in the Philippines, in 2012. I want to once again experience  Christmas traditions and culture with my family. To have them is really the best gift ever.

On one hand, by looking at my target Universities' calendar, school term will start in January 2013. However, application will end on around April - May of 2012. Having checked on this, I still have time to prepare my documents and knock in my previous professors' doors to ask for recommendations. On one hand, while the preparation may take time, I'm also working on my budget. Should I be able to get a scholarship overseas, at least I have some savings which I can use to pay some bills.

In 2012, I would like to enjoy my life in a more adventurous way, something that is not just about academic or into singing. Perhaps, I can go travel somewhere, meet and befriend strangers, go shop for myself, immerse in a festival, go for some hiking or trekking, fall in love with someone, go on a date (blind or speed or whatever kind), and a lot more. The possibilities are endless and I'm just excited about it.

I haven't thought of a New Year's Resolution. One thing is for sure, 2012 is the year for bigger and greater things not just for me but for everyone!

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