But I have one story which I've been so itchy to tell you about, my dear readers. It's a dream that I had yesterday. As vivid as what may happen in real life, I dreamed of a snake attack. So, out of curiosity on what does my dream mean, I googled.
Guess what I found out. Seriously, my dream reflects what I'm currently feeling for the past days.
I'm at the stage of my life that I just want to break free on my so called comfortable life. It has been a blessing to stay and work in Brunei for more than 3 years now. While I have saved money, worked on some investments and have made a lot of acquaintances, there's (seriously) some emotional and psychological needs that money can't buy. And so I am really wishing for a positive change to happen.
A big leap of faith that I'm taking for this year (or next year) would be to enroll myself in a PhD programme overseas. But only a scholarship could help me realize such wishful thinking or plan. So at the moment, I've been applying in different universities. And frankly, I'm so keen on doing a research. My concentration would be virtuality, migration, transnational communication, and offline relationships. I hope I'll get the ball start rolling while my energy is up.
I have a huge plan and I'm hoping for the best. But am I not satisfied with Brunei?
Most of my friends find Brunei, uhm, boring. I agree. Ooops, before you react, let me get all the cards laid on this entry.
Why Brunei is boring? Such description is subjective. Coming from a country filled with bustling night life and a very fast-paced environment, the kind of life in Brunei is definitely a relaxing and respite sanctuary. The only closest encounter on heightened merry making that you can get here are through coffee chit chats with some firework of laughter, exclusive house parties where you should consider to lower the volume of sounds as the neighbor might complain or else you'll attract uninvited men-in-uniform visitors, and if you drive down to Kuala Lura to get your liquor fix. Nonetheless, because of strict implementation of laws on observing serenity and safety in the "Abode of Peace," robust revelry is definitely tamed.
On one hand, what's promising about Brunei is that it's able to preserve it's culture and traditions. Plus, freshness is well served as the rich flora and fauna are sustained. Moreover, the streets and roads are systematic and you don't have to worry on your safety whenever you want to shop. Meanwhile, Brunei is very ideal especially for retiring people and those who love jungle adventures.
Going back to what I'm saying, I'm not leaving Brunei because of the lack of party houses. I would like to think that I am thinking of moving into another place where I can grow more while I am still young, at my 30's. I don't know yet which country should I move in, but I'm definitely on the look out.
My thought on moving out and opening a new chapter in my life is related to what I just dreamed yesterday. As I said, I dreamed of a snake attack. Let me recall the details.
My dream was very odd. Suddenly, I found my place in some grassy area. It was one of those green areas at the University of the Philippines, the premiere University where I survived my Bachelor's degree. As soon as I moved, I realized I was surrounded with lots of snakes. These snakes varied in sizes and colour. Some are big. Some are small. And most of them were soaked in water. There I was, standing and feeling the fast beat of my heart as I was so scared. Then, one big snake surfaced on the water. The head was the size of my fist. I was shocked.
The moment I moved in my dream, the snakes, surprisingly, didn't move. They just stared at me. So with so much fear, I ran. I didn't care if I stepped on a snake or the mud splashed on my clothes. Soon, I was in a highway. I took a jeepney ride.
Back to reality. I woke up.
So last night, out of curiosity, as I'm paranoid to die, I took time to google on what my dream means. And I found an interesting interpretation about it.
Based on www.snakedreams.org, there are three possible interpretations of having snakes in your dream.
First: Facing a threatening situation in your life.
A wild animal like a snake that attacks you in dream could point to a situation that feels unsafe or threatening in your waking life. The dream may be an expression of strong discomfort, worry or even fear as you are being confronted with a challenging situation. Dreaming of a snaked attack signifies that you're not fully acknowledging these feelings or the situation and need to pay attention to it. The snake attack is an indication of the need to take care of whatever is triggering resistance in a more conscious manner.Second: Fear of taking risks.
Dreaming of a snake attack could be an expression of the fear of taking risks in an uncertain environment. The serpent represents the fear of risking too much and getting hurt. The attack is an expression of the hesitancy, inner resistance towards making a move in a sensitive situation where you fell that every move on your part could be perceived as an attack by someone else or, in turn, trigger an attack towards you. You need to examine if there's a situation in your waking life where you need to take action and move carefully in order to bring resolution. The dream may point to a relationship where you are "walking on egg shells." It may also indicate that you need to take some risks and perhaps get "bitten" in the process in order to move forward.Third: Expressing an unresolved part of yourself.
Snakes are untamed animals and as a dream symbol, they could represent a "wild," untamed part of yourself that you or others may judge as socially or morally unacceptable. Typically associated with sexual or sensual expression, the presence of the serpent is associated with deep instinctual drives. It can be related to expressing your primal energy, creativity. A snake attack in a dream indicates that you are in the process of becoming more aware of the aspect of you, whether you want it or not. The attack reflects the inner tension between what has been hidden or repressed and is challenging your world now. The dream points to your resistance to change or to a fuller expression of a part of you that is being avoided or neglected.Interesting right? In my case, these interpretations are very aligned with what I'm feeling right now.
At the moment, I want to break free yet I'm very anxious on what lies ahead. There are few things that are running in my mind right now. What kind of life would I have after I move out of my "comfort zone? On the side, I'm worried if my financial savings would be enough to cover my daily expenses on where should I move, at the same time, cover my investment. And these thoughts are (in a way) give a threatening factor in my life.
On the "expressing an unresolved part of yourself," it's somehow a thought that I've been pondering on for the past years. However, I know to myself that it's no longer unresolved. I know who I am.With who I am, I've brought happiness to the people around me. And with such character, I've achieved things that I've never imagined. Truly, it was a humbling experience. On one hand, perhaps it's time to find my own happiness. Whichever path that I may take, as my family and friend, I know, you'll support me. Oh well, Valentine's day is really making me such an emo! Gaaaawd!
Overall, the interpretation helped me realized that I have to be strong. Should I decide to take a risk, a part of it is growing up and learning new things. That's what I want and so I am conditioning my mind on what should I do next.Meanwhile, on expressing myself, slowly, I'll get there. I will take the action and God will guide me all the way.
By the way, Happy Valentine's Day to you my dear readers!
Image from: http://the-best-top-desktop-wallpapers.blogspot.com/2011/02/snakes-wallpapers.html