Sunday, April 8, 2012
ON POST-HOLY WEEK THOUGHTS
Now that my program is over, I've opted to continue working out and eating healthy foods. As of last week, when I ended my 30-day fitness challenge, although for a day, I ate one cup of white rice, right after, I began working out again and turning my back on sweets and salty foods.
Last week, we, the Catholics, observed Holy Week. Looking at my Facebook wall, with all my friends posts, I can say that there were two things that stood out in the whole week. First, some of my friends were out in a beach (mostly Boracay). Meanwhile, some of my friends observed Wednesday until Saturday on a reflective and religious phase.
In this post, I would like to share to you some of my sentiments over the past week. With the low and serene mood brought about by re-living the sacrifices of Jesus Christ, I was drowned in a line-up of thoughts that somehow made my days truly worth recalling.
I was delinquent in attending choir practice. Sometimes I'm present. But most of the time, I'm absent.
Given the fact that I wasn't able to attend choir practice, I opted not to sing or participate in the group. In my mind, with some seat assignments and voicing among members, it's best to just attend the holy week with other mass goers.
Most of the masses, I was with the people in the first floor of the church. It was quite a breather for me. I was one of the mass goers who sat, sing and stand when needed. However, I can't deny I miss singing in the choir. Thankfully, the urge to sing ala-chorale mode was simply addressed by singing with the crowd.
To be seated with other mass goers was something that I somehow appreciated. During the homily, I was focused and I digested what the priest talked about. Perhaps, I didn't have to rush or think what's the next song that I have to sing.
After each mass that I attended last week, I felt that I had enough information to at least reflect in the holy week. But of course, I miss the Philippines at such times.
In the Philippines, especially in our province in Bicol, the energy of religiosity is reflected with the practices of the townsmen. From the Senakulo, procession and the high masses on the washing of the feet or the vigils, everything is felt to the core. And as Easter Sunday walks in, festivity surfaces.
I guess, last week's holy week would be my last in Brunei. I don't know yet where I would be next year. But hopefully, I am praying hard that I would be in the running to start my PhD somewhere. Seriously, I'm soooo chasing my dream to become a doctor in the field of media and communication.
As I was reflecting about my life last week, I weighed in my life.
For the past years, there's no denying that I've been so blessed with a lot. From finishing my masters, saving enough, getting an investment, and of course, having a healthy and supportive family, these are just too much to be thankful for. And so, whenever I pray at night, I always thank God, even with the small things that he gives me. That even on times of loneliness, I still thank him for giving me strength and guidance.
This year, I'm turning 30. Truth be told, I'm excited about it. In one article I read, to be on your 30s is glorious; you're not too young and you're not too old. In short, you're in the middle which gives you more freedom to explore possibilities.
I'm very sure about my decision on getting a PhD. I know that getting a PhD is like marrying someone or getting into a relationship. It requires strength, energy and dedication. That in the end, with focus and perseverance, graduation comes like a culmination of sleepless nights and strings of anxieties. But of course, the real work comes after getting a doctorate; that's to getting a life that's worth sharing and a contribution to the society we live in.
I'm at the crossroad of my life. Well, that's what I thought last year. I was confused on which direction I should take. But after some conversations with God, I've finally settled to what I've always wanted. Now, I've chosen, as mentioned, to take a PhD and eventually teach in a university or work in a research-based company. As a matter of fact, my hunger to publish more research work has crystallized like crazy.
On one hand, I'm open to opportunities that God will give me. After all, he's the master and the director of my life. I can act based on my needs and sometimes instincts. But at the end of the day, God only knows what's meant for me.
Love first yourself before you start loving others. I guess this is very true especially if you're in search for love or for a special someone. On top of that, acceptance of one's weaknesses and strengths should be aligned. I may be saying this as I can "feel" that I'm gonna find that special someone, soon? #lol
Now that I'm weeks away from my vacation in the Philippines, to say that I'm excited is overrated. I'm overwhelmed and uber excited. I won't just be celebrating my MA graduation, but it's the time of the year again when I'll be with my family and friends. And on each encounter, my heart never stops to beat with a happy melody. I miss my family and friends. Positively, with friends in Brunei who have become my family, I can cope with life overseas.
I'm thankful to God. With the past years of living away from my family and friends in the Philippines, I somehow manage to build a healthy, productive and worthwhile life overseas. I've met a lot of people - from foreigners to my fellowmen. And despite the odds and hardships, I survive nang bonggang bongga.
If there's anything I learn about the holy week, I get to dig deeper in my relationship with God. Whenever I'm lonely or sad, I always seek for his guidance. And in whatever successes I get, to thank him has become automatic.
I really can't say which direction I'm heading for this year. But I'm really hoping that God will grant what's inside my heart. Surely, I'll never get tired of serving God and sharing my talent.
Meanwhile, I'm getting ready for my ROAD TO 65 Challenge. As a primer, I had roasted fish for lunch with some vegetables and fries yesterday in celebration of Easter Sunday. Lovely!